EDIT: [Insert Dorky Title Here]

List 5 reasons you are a dork. And make them good reasons. Justify them. Explain them. Be loud and proud of how big a dork you are! Then pick the 5 biggest dorks you know and have them do the meme.

1. I considered the movie from the perspective of the bats. The bats who get scared by baby Bale down the well. Poor guys. I think bats tend to show more poise, really. The young teenage bat who's stuck in the Bruce mansion. Young boys get lost easily. The bats circling around Bale in the cave. He must have the most massive lice infestation of all time to get their attention like that. The Reinforcements bats that hear his light-up sneaker. I mean, what message could you send to attract a bunch of bats that way? "Humungous moth this way?" I don't know, I feel like humans would be easier to control. That's that for the bats. The movie was mostly good. I feel that tight and fast fight scenes have been done so spectucularly by Sin City and, in my recent memory Kung fu Hustle that the just average action in B B looked a little less cool than it might five or whatever years ago. But I should appreciate a movie just mediocre enough that I can resist hurling invectives at the screen. My knee did start twitching uncontrollably.

2. I have organized my iTunes rigorously. Playlist after playlist classifying the music. Every genre chosen and narrowed down carefully. nearly all of the songs given My Rating. Nearly all songs in some purposeful playlist. Playlists that tell me if I own the music, stole it online, from Reed, from SLC, from Lanette. Smartlists that serve no other purpose but to tell me whether my music has been "shelved" yet. A list of 212 top-rated songs that I dip into when I burn a mix CD, and then automatically removes the songs I picked from the list. Currently I'm creating a playlist based on songs I find myself humming when I walk in the front door.

3. I have been reading X-Men comic books since 1993. And yet I still managed to miss buying the original version of Fatal Attractions. Damn. But the Phalanx Covenant x-over was pretty good. (in fact, better than Fatal Attractions, because Magneto and Wolverine peaked a little earlier, that's why they got killed off(note for the non-comic dork: X-Men don't die, and worthwhile villians don't either. In all actuality, Magneto was just a vegetable for six years (don't let that awful Joseph character fool you, he was a clone, or, damn, even I can't remember, it was so dumb) and Wolverine just misplaced half his skeleton for five years and lost his powers for a measly number of issues. (if what you wanted was something good to read about Mags and Wolvie, I suggest X-Men (1991) 1-7, the full maturation of Jim Lee and the swansong of Chris Claremont (well, actually, Claremonts also back after a decade. Good X-Men Marvel writers don't die either. They just sue Marvel. Isn't that right, Stan? (see I had to strike that out, because Stan was not a good X-Men writer. He was just excellent at everything else. And if he'd owned X-Men to the bitter end, Claremont could never had made it a bigger success than all Stan's achievements, considerable though they be.) And Cable was awesome. (He was introduced by Rob Leifeld, who along with Jim Lee would soon leave Marvel and create the (first?) major artist-owned label, Image Comics. This is where Stan got the idea to sue Marvel for his great ideas about an angsty spider and a crime-fighting nuclear family) Basically, right before I started reading, the entire Cable storyline had been rolled out. You can tell because the 'free' pull out poster I got from the Cable comic book that was part of the Phalanx Covenant x-over (4 of 4 posters, all currently hanging next to the computer in my bedroom in VT) lays out the whole story that anydork would bother to tell you. What's happened since then? The arrival of Nate Grey, an untechno-virused version of Cable from an alternate timeline where Charles Xavier's son goes back in time and kills him and Magneto inherits the dream and Apocalypse rules No. America? *Yawn* Puh-leaze. Cable stops using a massive Rambo machine gun and gets a psimitar, instead? Okay, okay, that was cool, but still just accessorizing. Cable helps destroy his archnemesis Apocalypse but Cyclops gets melded with the bad-guy, who was aiming for Nate Grey? Toe. Tall. Burn. OUT. Cyclops was alive again in less than a YEAR. A fucking YEAR! I stopped reading because of shit like that! And yet I started reading that shit because they could just putter around with this character. He had this rich tapestry of pseudo-Messiah backstory, and it became this beautiful character-driven series. Which is the glory of a bunch of hack writers slaving under a big company that denies copyright. They create organic characters between them.

4. Do you know how hard it is to find clothing made in America? Okay, that's not quite dorky. And I bought some African pants the other day, anyway. But I think they were handcrafted with love and reasonable reimbursement. At least as much as all the stuff just made in an LA sweatshop anyway. But I got a black hooded AFL-CIO sweatshirt from the Union Store. Does that count? How about the two suspenders hanging in my closet, red or US flag. 8 ties hanging from a circular tie caddy. Three hats and a cellophane inflated Purple Bat Headband. (though that was a gift, but again one everyone knew I would enjoy) Much more of all these ties, hats, and clasps at home. Plus wingtips, purple pants, polyester, etc. I don't know. You'd have to see me, but I feel it adds up...

5. Main Entry: dork
Pronunciation: 'dork
Function: noun
Etymology: perhaps alteration of dick
slang : NERD; also : JERK 4, DILDO, PENIS
Okay, so really I modified this from Merriam-Webster Online, but I feel its proves my point. I do have the 20-Volume Set of the OED sitting in Vermont in my bedroom (near the X-Men posters). Every August, the question arises: Will this be the year I work up the courage to take 20 tomes to school along with everything else in my mom's odious PT Cruiser? But there really is a space issue. I am certainly a dictionary dork, though apparently not on the level of Maria and Jeni. I do seem to retain words a little better than Maria (I won't claim to know about Jeni, largely as its 90% Japanese for her), but I'm under the appreciation impression that her heavy responsibility as God sort of psyches her out and she ends up sounding like Noah after a few too many brewskis. And I'm a false penis.

I'm not sure what LJ-Cuts are really for, foxywhiteshoes, but orange you glad I used them? Lately spinooti has been using them to talk about Harry Potter without ruining it for those who haven't read it yet. For those, like me, that that entails, I would like to reiterate that I found listening to the fifth book on tape delightful, and would suggest listening to the sixth in such a way to you all. Dollars to donuts your library has it on tape, and the line will be shorter than the line for the book. I can't be the only dork who hasn't bought a personal copy yet. I do seem to be one of the last dorks to do this meme, which is why I can't think of anyone to suggest it to. I mean, if I could get spinooti, shaenon, 20d6_fireball, fhwqhgads, and anydork from narbonic to do it, well, we'd all be basking in some major dork vibes, and they're all good sports, but they are busy enough rocking my world, I don't want to add to their plates. I guess we all have our qualification, but dorks differ.

EDIT: There originally were a lot of typos at the end of this, involving me trying to type lj code from memory and forgetting quotation marks and italicizing rather than linking names. But I'm still a pretty heavy LJ dork.